Real talk what would happen if you embraced the hidden parts of yourself that you’re too scared to reveal to the world?
Whether you’re willing to admit it or not these parts influence your behavior, and wouldn’t you rather be aware when it happens?
So today I want us to discuss the beginner’s steps to embracing your shadow, along with some deep shadow work prompts to bring the dark to light.
This is going to be some deep private inner work, but don’t be scared.
Ready to unleash your dark feminine energy?
Let’s do it.
Table of Contents
What is shadow work?
The idea of a “shadow self” originated from Carl Jung, a psychiatrist in the 1900s, who described a person’s identity as divided into two: the “ideal self,” which translates into what society deems acceptable. And the shadow self.
The shadow self comprises the emotions, actions, and general behavior that we hide from the world and sometimes even our own conscience, but here’s the banger.
Our shadow self isn’t necessarily bad, at least not always for most just unacknowledged.
Shadow work is the act of bringing our shadow self into our conscious awareness, showing ourselves empathy, and learning how to live with that part of ourselves.
Aspects of the shadow self.
So, what aspects can be clearly pointed out as the shadow self? How do you recognize it?
- Repressed emotions– anger, jealousy, shame, guilt, envy, resentment.
- Unhealed wounds- childhood trauma, abandonment, rejection, neglect.
- Hidden desires -cravings for power, control, recognition, sexual expression, freedom.
- Unacceptable traits -selfishness, laziness, greed, arrogance, judgment, and manipulation.
- Fears -failure, success, intimacy, rejection, abandonment, being seen.
- Triggers– overreactions to others’ behavior that mirror something unhealed in ourselves.
- Defense mechanisms– denial, projection, people-pleasing, perfectionism, avoidance.
- Negative self-talk– inner criticism, self-sabotage, feelings of unworthiness.
How the shadow self might show up in daily life.
It’s not just enough to know the aspects of the shadow self, which, btw, I must repeat, aren’t necessarily evil or bad, just untackled and unexplored.
So here are a few examples of how your shadow self might consciously or unconsciously show up in everyday life.
- Giving nasty comments online because you’re jealous or triggered.
- Unhealthy coping mechanisms like binging on porn or drinking.
- Suppressing your needs and boundaries to avoid conflict.
- You get easily triggered as a result of your unhealed trauma.
6 reasons why you need to do shadow work.
You’re now aware that we all have a shadow self? But why bother to explore it really? Wouldn’t you be better in oblivion?
No no you wouldn’t as scary as it is to see these parts of yourself, it’s important to meet her, let me give you a few reasons why:
1. Self-awareness.
Shadow work will give you a deeper knowing of your hidden beliefs, suppressed emotions, and patterns that shape your behavior.
2. Help you to break bad habits and patterns.
The reason most people struggle with breaking bad habits and patterns is that they haven’t explored the root cause, and that is what our shadow work prompts will help you do.
3. Find emotional healing.
Research has shown that the human mind sometimes buries extremely traumatic events to such an extent that you don’t consciously remember them but your emotions can still be triggered.
Shadow work will help you uncover these painful events, and with the help of journaling and a therapist, you can work through those emotions and find healing or letting go.
4. Connect with your inner child.
Shadow work is also an opportunity to love and understand past versions of self: the child who needed love, the teenager who wanted to be understood, and the young woman who went through so much.
5. Build better relationships.
When the shadow self is brought to your awareness, you learn not to project it onto others, but more so, you offer more compassion and understanding, thus forging strong relationships built upon awareness.
6. Improved mental health.
Forgiveness, acceptance, and letting go are all things you are guaranteed to benefit from after doing shadow work, and who doesn’t want peace of mind? I mean.
How to use our shadow work prompts.
- Be intentional – you’ve decided to embark on this journey of meeting your shadow self, pick a time, a safe space, and your Journaling tools, and show up.
- Be for real- please don’t bullshit yourself when answering the prompts. Otherwise, you’re just acting upon your “ideal self,” and you won’t meet your shadow self.
- Combine it with light innerwork – shadow work can be very emotionally taxing so take a break and do light practices like gratitude, affirmations, lots of self-nurturing. If it feels too heavy take a break.
- You can involve your therapist: again, this work might be too heavy to handle by yourself, so why not do it with professional help?
With that said, let’s dive into the real work, the fun part, or scary depending on you!
31 Wonderful Shadow work prompts to get you started.
These journal work prompts are divided into seven sections that represent various aspects of your shadow self.
Pick one section at a time and work on it, here you go:
Uncovering repressed emotions.
- What feelings do I avoid expressing, and why?
- When was the first time I felt ashamed of my emotions?
- Which emotions make me feel “too much” or “not enough”?
- How do I distract myself when I feel sadness, anger, or fear?
Understanding the inner critic and self-sabotage.
- What are the most common negative things I say to myself?
- Where do I think this inner critic voice originated?
- In what situations do I secretly hold myself back? Or try to self-sabotage?
- What would my life look like if my inner critic weren’t in control?
Unhealed wounds and childhood triggers.
- What childhood memory still stings when I think about it?
- How did my parents/guardians react when I expressed anger, disappointment, or sadness?
- What part of me still feels like a little child seeking approval, understanding, or love?
- How do my current relationships reflect wounds from my past?
Hidden wants and desires.
- What do I envy in others, and what does that reveal about my secret desires?
- If no one judged me, what would I allow myself to want and have?
- What part of myself do I suppress because I fear it’s “selfish” or “bad”?
- How do I feel about power, control, or attention do I crave it, deny it, or judge it?
Projecting in relationships.
- What traits in others annoy or anger me the most and how do I embody them too?
- When was the last time I blamed someone else instead of owning my part?
- What kind of people trigger me, and what does that reflect in me?
- What qualities do I admire in others but struggle to accept in myself?
- Do I project my insecurities onto those around me and how?
Fear, shame, and identity.
- What am I most afraid people will find out about me?
- When do I feel the heaviest sense of shame?
- What parts of my identity do I hide to “fit in”?
- If I embraced my shadow fully, what would change in my life?
Lastly, Acceptance and healing.
- What lesson has my shadow self been trying to teach me?
- How can I show compassion to the parts of me I usually reject?
- What would it feel like to be whole instead of “good vs. bad”?
- How can I create a safe space in my daily life for shadow work?
- What parts of my shadow self, that don’t harm me or others should I fully embrace?
- Which parts of my shadow self can harm me and others, and how can I work on them?
Bonus, beginner steps for your shadow work journey.
The shadow work prompts above are a great place to start, but which other steps can guide this fundamental inner work?
Before I list them, I want you to know that shadow work, like any other wellness practice, doesn’t come to an end, as we keep evolving and life keeps unfolding…you will always have parts to uncover, heal, and accept.
So here’s how to make your shadow work journey easier:
1. Establish the “why.”
The why is important, why do you want to do shadow work? Sure, it’s a mainstream trend, but are you willing to stare at your raw and naked parts, love and accept them as you?
2. Get your shadow work tools ready.
Aside from journaling, other tools that could greatly aid you in your shadow work process are therapy, a connection to a higher power, and light practices to ground you, and these are different for everyone.
I.e, dancing, affirmations, walking meditation, painting, or music.
Remember, the goal is not to retreat to a cave.
3. Start to self-observe.
One thing is certain you can’t do shadow work if you don’t even know your reactions and patterns, and there’s only one way to know.
Self-observe yourself each time you get triggered, go back in your mind, and note why. How did you react? Is it something you’ve experienced before?
4. Have body awareness practices.
Still on self-observation, our emotions are also expressed physically, so again, whenever your shadow self gets triggered, take note of where the emotions manifest in your body, whether it’s in your tummy, tightness in your throat, etc.
Journal all these experiences down.
5. Hold dialogues with your shadow.
I have always liked the idea of an alter ego, which is a created image of your highest self, and what we wish to embody, so imagine holding the same regard for your shadow side.
Give your shadow self a name, and a character close your eyes and visualize her standing with you, converse and ask her questions like:
- Why were you so triggered when that happened?
- What do you really need from me?
6. Put your triggers into practice.
Throw yourself under the bus, not literally… What I mean is, put your shadow self under obvious triggers, not the toxic ones, just the uncomfortable ones.
For example, let’s say that you have a coworker whom you find very arrogant.
Spend a lunch break with them, then afterwards analyze whether their boastful confidence triggers a lack of any in yourself, or does it remind you of a past occurrence?
7. Lastly, have a creative outlet.
As you progress in your shadow work, things can in fact get intense as well as in your daily interactions with the world.
Triggers will bring about emotions and thoughts, so instead of turning to distractive behaviors, have…
A form of creative outlet.
You might not be able to show your shadow self to others out of fear, shame, or guilt, but whenever it gets overwhelming, you can channel it into art, physical movement, etc.
Final thoughts.
Wheewh, shadow work can be a heavy topic, not just collectively but also individually. However, I can confidently promise that the shadow work prompts above will help you to start somewhere in the safety of your journal and home.
Remember that shadow work is not about nitpicking who you are, and when done right, can make you a better individual.
Before you go remember to save this Pinterest pin by clicking the pin it button on the image so that you can access the shadow work prompts in the future. Till next time happy innerwork.
