Is it possible to take certain steps to boost your confidence? The answer is yes.
Remember how, as a little girl, you would take notice of and adore any confident woman on TV?
I distinctly remember falling in love with Audrey Hepburn’s character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
She was a lot of things, and one of them was confident.
But then I grew up, and suddenly, I couldn’t relate to this confident woman.
So I had to learn by eliminating low self-esteem.
And judging by the fact that you are reading this, I know that you also want to learn how to become a confident woman.
The meaning of confidence.
Most people are curious as to whether confidence and self-esteem are one and the same.
Here’s how I like to describe it.
Confidence is the belief in one’s capabilities, while self-esteem may be described as one’s overall sense of value.
In this post, you will find that the line between the two is blurry, and you can choose to view one as the other.
True confidence comes from resting in your femininity.
I also view confidence in two facets.
Outward and inward confidence.
Most of the time, you want to achieve both, and that is why our 10 simple steps will be a combination of outward and inward confidence boosters.
Why is confidence very attractive?
We all stop and stare at a confident woman who has an air about her.
It’s in her gestures, communication, poise, and appearance.
But why does she appear to be so magnetic? Here’s why she is :
- Self-aware:
A confident woman knows who she is and that’s damn attractive.
She doesn’t play about her self-worth. - Trustworthy:
Confidence will get you in rooms; confidence signals that you know what you bring to the table, and that makes you believable. - Elegant:
Elegance is not just about your clothes, it’s also about your mannerisms and poise.
Confidence is not fidgety and in a rush, but composed and articulate.
Why some women struggle with confidence.
Imposter syndrome.
Do you know that studies conducted in workplaces have shown that women get paid less than a man for the same position?
I believe that one of the major reasons for this, aside from your boss being a douche might be the fact that most women don’t feel capable and deserving.
Even the smartest of women sometimes face this.
Past trauma.
Maybe growing up, someone hammered it into you that you weren’t good enough.
And because of that, you’ve never felt confident in who you are.
Societal standards on body image.
One of the biggest contributors to most women’s lack of confidence is the way they view their bodies.
We look at models and influencers and magazines, and we castigate ourselves.
Growing up in an African country was not the kindest experience for a tall, slim girl like me, with a voluptuous figure being the symbol of coming into womanhood.
Everyone was like You need to eat; need I say that I was a good eater, but we’ll, genetics.
Your version of body dysmorphia might be different, but so many girls and women face this.
Before we realize it, we go from a confident, happy girl to a woman who hates her body.
How to repair your inner confidence.
Before I give you the 10 simple steps to boost your confidence, I would like us to take a look at the root of the problem.
Lack of confidence stems from a deeper place that requires a lot of inner work.
So, while you follow simple, instant confidence boosters,, there’s the foundation work that you should be doing on the inside.
See a therapist.
We hear this too often, but it’s truly life-changing.
A therapist will listen and help you learn things that you didn’t know about yourself.
From there on, you can work on a confidence-building framework.
Do some shadow work.
If you are not in a space where you can see a therapist, shadow work is a great alternative.
Shadow work involves exercises, i.e., journaling, that help you uncover your hidden or repressed feelings.
Once you identify the root of your lack of confidence, you can begin to create new beliefs and thoughts.
Shadow prompts for confidence.
- What early experiences or messages made me question my worth as a woman, and how do they still show up in my life today?
- What parts of my body or appearance do I judge the most, and where did I learn that judgment? What would happen if I released it?
- Where in my life have I shrunk myself or dimmed my light to make others comfortable? Why did I believe I had to?
- What version of myself have I abandoned to feel accepted, loved, or safe — and what does she need from me now?
- What does the word “confident” truly mean to me, and what stops me from embodying that version of myself right now?
- What compliments or praise do I secretly crave but struggle to accept? What does rejecting them say about how I see myself?
- How do I respond when my boundaries are tested, and what childhood patterns might be influencing that reaction?
- What limiting beliefs do I hold about women aging, being powerful, or taking up space, and how can I rewrite those beliefs?
- If I fully trusted myself, what bold thing would I do or say right now without fear of judgment or failure?
Now that we have this out of the way, let’s get into the juicy part.
10 instant confidence boosters for women.
1.Write a to-do list.
It might seem that proper planning has nothing to do with confidence, except that it actually does.
The day I decided to start writing my to-do list on my phone (better on paper for some), I noticed a sudden shift in how I showed up in my tasks.
I was confident that I knew when and what I was doing.
Give it a try and before you notice it will become a core habit that increases your confidence.
2. Proper grooming.
Do the basics always: brush your teeth, do your skincare, shower, and do your hair.
Pick a scent that makes you feel confident, whether it’s floral, citrusy, or musky
Your perfume should make you feel confident and wonderful.
3. Play dress up.
Do you notice how powerful you feel when you dress well?
Start to intentionally curate a wardrobe that you love.
My advice is not to go with trends.
But don’t just stop at creating a good wardrobe, use it.
Play around with colors, textures, patterns, and accessories.
4. Morning affirmations.
We love affirmations. Affirmations are not only a proven way to rewire your subconscious mind, but they are also a great way to feel good.
Here’s what I want you to do: start by creating just five affirmations that you will use in the morning.
Write them down on a sticky note and slap it somewhere convenient, like your bathroom mirror.
Another way is to record yourself saying them and listen to them every morning.
Whatever it is that you feel Insecure about, create an affirmative statement.
Watch how you begin to feel like a bad b.
Here are a few examples:
- I am great at what I do.
- I am so gorgeous.
- I love who I am and who I am becoming.
- I am going to have a wonderful day.
- I attract abundance.
5. Exercise.
Moving your body in the morning prompts a release of dopamine, a surge of energy, and a boost of confidence.
Moving your body constantly also signals discipline and self-love.
Find a routine that works for you and aligns with your fitness goals.
On some days, it will be just as simple as five minutes of movement that or twenty squats.
6. Perfect your skills.
Confidence hugely stems from our accomplishments, and the best way to do this is to work on our skillset every day.
Life is a learning curve. It doesn’t stop when we graduate or start a new business.
Neither does it stop just your career, there are still other important facets of life like learning how to become a good parent, learning a fulfilling hobby, e.t.c
7. Speak kindly to yourself.
Here’s a little self-esteem cheat sheet: never talk badly to yourself inwardly and outwardly.
Don’t say things like “I am so stupid; Instead, say “I am learning.”
This will not only make you feel better about yourself, but you will also show others the same consideration and improve the quality of your relationships.
8. Cut off the toxic company.
People who spew negative talk or lead a negative lifestyle and are in your inner circle will make you feel bad about yourself.
Why? Because ultimately, we are who we hang out with.
Sometimes, it’s not even people in your inner circle but people you deal with every day, like your workmate.
Find a way to minimize those interactions as much as possible.
Instead, vibe with confident people, people who are doing the inner work. That’s your tribe.
9. Power poses and confident body language.
A confident woman has the perfect poise and body language.
As a teenager, I battled with serious social anxiety that made me want to faint every time I thought of going outside.
As a way to combat my social anxiety, I began walking upright, head held high, shoulders back, all in an attempt to hide how scared I was of people’s perception of me.
Years later, after overcoming that, I still walk with my shoulders back and my head held high.
I even like to think of the world as my palace and me being a queen strolling around.
It’s ridiculous, but it works.
I also pay attention to my body language.
As for power poses, one of my favorite ones to do in the morning in front of the mirror is the Wonder Woman pose.
Stand tall with your hands on your hips and look at yourself in the mirror.
This pose will make you feel confident and powerful.
10. End your day with self-reflection.
I have a holy grail of two ways to end your day confidently.
- Write 3 wins of the day, no matter how small,i.e., I made my bed today; I submitted a proposal today.
- Write 3 things you are grateful for, this reminds you how blessed you are.
Parting short.
We have explored easy ways to instantly boost your confidence, like positive self-talk, power poses, and smelling nice.
But we must remember to take into account the inner work that goes into building one’s confidence.
This means going to therapy and doing lots of shadow work.
Ladies, I can assure you that working on your confidence will transform you into your dream woman.
Are there any hacks that you use to feel more confident that you would love to share in the comments below?
