I have always worried whether I was being too feminine or too masculine and felt compelled to choose one.
Until one day it finally clicked that what I needed, (what all women need) is to balance feminine and masculine energy simultaneously.
I am a huge advocate of women embracing and leaning into their feminine energy(softness,flow) but this can often come across as an encouragement to abandon our inner masculine traits(ambition,logic).
In this post, you will learn the importance of striking a healthy balance between these two core energies that we have access to while remaining more inclined towards one.
Table of Contents
What does it mean to balance feminine and masculine energy?
Where exactly did the concept of masculine and feminine energy originate from?
Out of curiosity, I tried to trace the origin of this mainstream trend, and I couldn’t pinpoint anyone who decided there’s a presence of feminine energy and masculine energy in each human; however, I found out the following.
The reason I couldn’t pinpoint the origin was that the interplay of polarities on Earth has always been a well-known fact to all.
Most spiritual truths are abstract. They don’t have a beginning or end; they just exist from ancient civilizations to today. The names may change, but the concepts hold true.
I will tell you more about how ancient civilizations honored the divine masculine and feminine entities but before that…
Creating a balance of our feminine and masculine traits means that we recognize and honor the role that both energies play in us as women.
Being more inclined towards our femininity does not mean that we completely do away with our inner masculine energy. In fact, the consequences are dire when we operate from this notion.
However, for us to balance both energies in ourselves, we must first be acquainted with the individual characteristics of each.
Feminine energy traits:
- Intuition.
- Creativity.
- Receptive.
- In flow.
- Feeling.
- Surrender.
- Stillness .
- Mystery.
Masculine energy traits:
- Action.
- Containment.
- Structure.
- Logic.
- Strength.
- Giving.
- Order.
- Movement.
- Leadership.
Representation of the balance between feminine and masculine energy.
It’s a given that many laws of the universe operate in dualism and polarity. i.e., light vs dark, cold vs hot, inhale vs exhale.
The same holds true for feminine energy and masculine energy; for optimal survival, we need to tap into both as women (same for men).
Here are a few ancient, modern, and timeless representations of the interplay between masculine energy and feminine energy.
1 Ancient China: The yin and yang.
The yin and yang, commonly represented by a circle with two equal halves of black and white and the opposite dot in each, is a Chinese philosophical concept that represents two opposites that attract.
Ultimately the two opposites need each other to function.
The yin is considered to be feminine in nature(passive, cool, intuitive, dark).
The yang is masculine (active, logical, warm, light).
2. Ancient India: Shakti and Shiva.
The Indian gods Shakti and Shiva are, in order, the divine masculine and divine feminine consciousness representation in each of us.
Shakti: the mother, emotion, chaos, power, transformation.
Shiva: Stillness, consciousness, awareness, grounding, presence.
3. The sun and the moon.
Although the comparisons vary across cultures and religions, the moon has been used to represent the feminine and the sun the masculine.
The moon, like us women, undergoes a cycle, while the sun rises each day.
The moon is seen as mysterious, delicate, beautiful and the sun as harsh and fierce.
Those traits are attributed to each energy.
And as women, we embody either depending on the circumstances.
4. Ancient Greek mythology.
The Greeks had many gods and goddesses who represented the various aspects of the divine masculine and feminine energies.
- Aphrodite: (feminine)god of love, beauty, and creation.
- Ares :(masculine) war, destruction, ambition.
5. Water and fire.
Water is flow, surrender, adaptability, and intuition.
Fire represents action, illumination, and destruction.
6. The prince and princess in fairy tale animations.
In Disney cartoons like Cinderella or Frozen.
The prince displays more masculine traits, such as being a protector and an ambitious giver.
The princesses embody softness, beauty, and receptivity.
The dangers of unbalanced feminine and masculine energy in women.
Society’s biggest flaw has been in convincing both genders that you can only be in your masculine or feminine energy, and most women have suffered from this line of thinking.
Let me clarify that both genders have the essence of both masculine and feminine energy they can tap into for a well-rounded existence.
But what happens when a woman only operates from her feminine energy or masculine energy?
Personally, I have always been more inclined towards my feminine energy. In all honesty, my masculine energy traits lay dormant, especially in my early twenties.
I was laid back, creative but without structure, ambition-less, waiting to marry a rich guy someday (I blame conditioning). I envisioned my life to be like this lifelong vacation that I didn’t pay for.
One thing led to the other and I ended up a single mum.
I slowly started to introduce structure, boundaries, logic, and ambition into my life because otherwise I would have drowned.
In a way, my feminine energy wasn’t enough to sustain me; I needed that masculine layer. Sort of like a coat during winter.
A woman who operates only from her feminine energy lacks;
Structure, discipline, action, and ambition.
Feminine energy is like water inside a container and the container happens to be the structure that your masculine energy provides.
It’s wonderful to go with the flow, to embrace stillness, and be receptive, but as a human being, you have a purpose, a desire to set goals and achieve them, to feel protected and provided for.
To do that, you will need inner masculine structure.
This type of woman may feel like:
- She’s always starting something but can’t see it through.
- A lack of direction or consistency.
- An over-dependency on others for comfort, protection, and providence.
- She attracts partners or environments that are dominant or unstable.
- Soft but powerless, invisible, and ungrounded.
A woman who’s only utilizing her masculine energy may feel:
Drained, competitive, unaligned, resentful.
- Chronic burnout from never slowing down and honouring her body’s phases.
- In competition with the world and herself.
- Disconnected from beauty, sensuality, and joy.
- Suppressed emotions such as rage.
- Dysfunctional relationships stemming from a fear of vulnerability.
- A need to control all outcomes.
How to cultivate a healthy balance of feminine and masculine energy.
We have already established that in order to live an optimal life as a woman you will need the balance of both your feminine and masculine energy.
However, the real question is how do we bring about balance to such an abstract concept? After all, there’s no weighing scale.
1. Self-awareness.
One cannot change what they’re unaware of, and by this stage, I know that you have some awareness of a need for balance.
Let’s take this one step further by identifying which energy you largely operate from.
And my go-to technique for self-awareness is journaling.
Go ahead and answer the following prompts;
- Do I feel more burnt out or more unmotivated?
- Am I always doing or always dreaming?
- Do I resist planning or resist resting?
- Am I overly reliant or too self-sufficient?
If you answered all with “balance,” then you’re good to go; if not, we need to focus deeper on creating tandem.
2. Embody both energy traits.
Finding a way to hold space for both your masculine and feminine traits is the sweet spot we’re aiming for;
Soft and strong:
You can be warm and cordial and yet still hold firm boundaries.
This could look like saying “no” in a calm but assertive manner
Emotional expression and emotional control:
Most women are brushed off as emotional, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with holding space to process those emotions.
We can also choose to exhibit emotional control when we understand that we don’t have to act out of our emotions, and if we do, it’s healthy.
Learn how to alchemize your emotions into periods of rest, reflection, and motivation.
Taking action and resting:
You can have durations of prime focus and grind and those of renewal if you allow yourself.
Factor your goals in alignment with your monthly cycle or calendar, and most importantly, listen to your body.
The two phases after menstruation (follicular and ovulatory) are the best to start new projects, take action, and network.
Your premenstrual and menstrual phase (luteal and menstrual) are for inner reflection, analysis of what is working and letting go of what isn’t, it’s a time to listen to that inner voice.
Which leads me to.
Intuition and logic:
Allow to your gut (womb) to give you direction and use logic to get you there.
The two should not be separated.
Get in the habit of asking both your gut and your head, “Does this feel aligned? Which steps can I take to get there?”
Ground your inner knowing into steps.
Being and doing:
Feminine energy is all about presence and slowing down and going with the flow which can be misinterpreted for passivity when there’s no doing.
Overdoing, on the other hand, reflects the popularized hustle culture.
The equalizer is in structuring your day to be and to do. Your mornings can be slow and relaxed and afterwards you can move with purpose and action. Later on, ending the day as it started.
Giving and receiving:
Giving is one of the few masculine traits that women tend to overuse. We’re natural givers when it comes to our families, friendships, and careers.
Which is a beautiful thing only when it’s balanced with receiving help, rest, and accolades.
It’s okay to be on the receiving end for once, it’s okay to take days off, or receive compliments with grace.
And it’s very important to be selfish with what and to whom you give.
An example of feminine and masculine energy balance;
- She’s a leader who leads with softness but deploys authority and commands respect.
- While dating, she allows herself to be chased and wooed, but she doesn’t shy away from expressing her needs and desires.
- She allows her creativity to roam wildly, but she creates structures to allow play. i.e, using planners.
- She pours unconditional love to her family/friends, but she’s able to recognize when her body and mind need a break, and she takes it to pour back into herself.
- She is very cordial towards everybody, but she doesn’t people please when someone tries to disrespect her boundaries; she assertively puts them in their place.
- She’s very ambitious and goes after her goals, but it’s not grind, grind, grind, but she works in seasons of grind, harvest, and rest.
Parting short.
Today my hope was to forward this to each woman, being in your feminine energy doesn’t mean doing away with your masculine traits.
You need softness and structure to become your dream woman which I know you will.
By balancing out both traits, i.e, alternating periods of stillness and action, you will become unstoppable.
Before we part ways, please let me know whether, like me, you thought that you could only embrace either your feminine energy or your masculine energy?
