Here’s a hard pill to swallow: no one teaches us as women how to embody femininity, and no one tells us that we need to embody feminine softness.
We learn this the hard way when our lives become unbearable and extremely draining.
Well, now that I think about it, there aren’t many women who truly understand feminine energy and how it operates.
It’s crazy to think that we actually don’t know a lot about the energy that flows in our bodies, not anymore…
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But what exactly is feminine energy and feminine softness?
I want you to understand something: men and women possess both feminine and masculine energy traits simultaneously.
But what influences each of their behaviors is the level of each energy’s embodiment.
How do we measure how feminine or masculine one is?
Feminine energy is marked by ease of flow, intuitiveness, nurturing, empathy, receptivity, emotions, and creativity.
On the other hand. Masculine energy is characterized by logic, protectiveness, aggressiveness, providence, assertiveness, and leadership.
When we talk about feminine softness we are referring to a woman being able to embody more feminine energy traits as opposed to masculine energy traits.
Yes, a woman should be assertive, she can lead, but she can also do all these things while honoring her femininity. Let’s see how.
Understanding the hard/masculine energy.
When we say that women in today’s society are in their ‘hard energy,’ what exactly do we mean? As modern women, we are empowered. We have autonomy, and I love that for us. The women before us fought hard to get us here. However, we have put our shields up.
Don’t get me wrong, we need our inner masculine energy to provide structure for our very essence (feminine energy), but what happens when we are constantly only in the former?
- We want to always be in control of everything.
- We are overworked in a way that goes against our bodies.
- We are forced to suppress our emotional state of being.
- We strive for perfection in every area of our lives.
Are you seeing the ‘hard energy’ at play?
Where does the need to be hard instead of feminine stem?
Why are more and more women finding themselves rigid instead of fluid like the universe intended?
- Societal expectations, if we are being more specific, both the patriarchal system and ourselves have created unreasonable expectations for us. The movie “Barbie” said it all.
- Many women have put up their masculine energy shield as a result of hurtful experiences.
- The hustle culture narrative champions aggressive thinking and chasing.
The effects of overly masculine energy embodiment in women.
Certain masculine traits, i.e, ambition, are important for the survival and fulfillment of women, but others are outright draining on the very essence of the feminine. i.e aggressiveness.
Masculine energy can sometimes be aggressive, apathetic, competitive, and disruptive, and the moment a woman tries to become these things, she faces serious burnout and even unhappiness.
These traits are not in rhythm with her feminine energy.
She is at war with herself.
These are the serious consequences;
- Mental exhaustion from trying to control everything and make the right decisions.
- Emotional burnout from trying to suppress our emotions.
- Physical tension, spikes in cortisol, weight gain, breakouts e.t.c
Why do women hold on to masculine energy?
It’s super hard to realize a pattern of hardness in your life and even harder to relearn it and embody feminine softness.
To an extent, it seems even impossible for many women.
To let go of this survival mode tactic, women need to rewire these limiting beliefs that have helped them navigate the world but now weigh them down.
An example of a woman in her masculine is a single mum who was hurt in the past, she’s had to become a protector and provider, put her shield up all while trying to be feminine.
So why exactly do many women struggle with letting go of this ‘hard energy’ persona?
- A fear of being perceived as weak.
- A fear of being targeted and getting hurt, she doesn’t trust easily.
- No real-life examples of feminine women.
When we talk about feminine softness we are referring to a woman being able to embody more feminine traits as opposed to masculine traits.
The beauty of feminine softness.
Before we get into how to cultivate feminine softness I want you to understand how beautiful feminine softness is and why we should all embrace it.
It’s already inside each woman, she just has to be brave enough to live it.
Traits of a feminine soft woman.
- She embraces ease, flow, and receptivity.
- She allows herself to feel emotions, express herself, and nurture herself.
- She finds strength in softness as opposed to resistance.
Benefits of becoming a soft feminine woman.
- Increases self-love and inner peace.
- Abundance starts to flow into your life because you are receptive.
- It boosts physical and emotional well-being because you are less stressed.
- Improves the quality of your relationships because you are in a space to love and be loved.
How you can cultivate feminine softness in your daily life in 11 ways.
This is the ultimate goal, right? To integrate feminine softness as a career woman, sister, daughter, mother, wife, and single girl. In every single thing that you do.
But how do we do this in practical everyday life?
1. Slow Down Your Movements
- Walk gracefully, avoid rushing.
- Practice using gentle gestures whether you are brushing your hair or taking a seat.
- Pause before reacting in conversations
2. Speak with a Softer Tone.
- Lower your voice volume, practice being mindful of your tone.
- Use kind, uplifting words, and avoid harsh or abrupt language.
- Embrace pauses in conversation instead of filling silence with nervous chatter.
3. Prioritize Gentle Self-Care Rituals
- Slow morning or evening routines with tea, journaling, or stretching.
- Practice body oiling or self-massage.
- Take baths and light candles(here’s my favorite scents), surround yourself with soothing scents.
- Dress in flowy fabrics and soft lingerie.
- In general, embrace soft rituals that make you feel wonderful and nurtured.
4. Embrace Graceful Communication at Work.
- Speak clearly but gently in meetings, emails, and conversations.
- Use phrases like “I’d love your thoughts on this” or “How do you feel about…” to invite collaboration.
- Maintain eye contact and open body language without aggression.
- Pause before responding, especially under stress, respond, don’t react.
5. Practice Receptivity.
- Allow yourself to receive: compliments, help, love, or small pleasures.
- Avoid immediately jumping into problem-solving or control mode.
- Listen more than you speak sometimes, simply holding space
6. Engage in Feminine Hobbies.
- Creative arts like painting, writing, dancing, sewing, and baking.
- Mindful practices like yoga, meditation, or stretching.
- Nurturing activities like cooking, flower arranging, or decorating.
7. Connect with Nature.
- Walk barefoot on grass, garden, or sit in the sun.
- Observe the beauty of the natural world, flowers, water, and breeze.
- Take quiet walks in the park to ground your energy by connecting with Mother Earth.
8. Lead with Empathy and Emotional Intelligence.
- Prioritize understanding team dynamics and emotions.
- Set goals, but allow space for flow, not everything requires forceful action.
- Be open to receiving help, mentorship, or new opportunities.
- Validate feelings in conversations: “That sounds challenging, I hear you.”
- See people beyond their roles, remember birthdays, ask about family, listen deeply.
9. Surround yourself with Beauty and embrace sensuality.
- Fresh flowers, soft lighting, cozy blankets, and a clean space.
- Read poetry, listen to classical music, or watch romantic movies.
- Create an environment that nurtures your senses.
10. Embrace Emotional Vulnerability.
- Allow yourself to feel, journal your emotions, and cry when needed.
- Avoid numbing feelings or forcing “toughness”.
- Share your heart honestly with trusted people.
11. Lastly, Balance Hustle with Receptivity.
- Set goals, but allow space for flow not everything requires forceful action.
- Be open to receiving help, mentorship, or new opportunities.
- Celebrate small wins and moments of beauty in your workday, a good cup of coffee, a compliment, and a peaceful moment, etc.
My favorite part of the day is getting dressed in the morning because I get to choose plant-based, heat proof, pH balancing softness intimates before adding the pazas. In love with intimatequeen delicates, check them out.
A quick recap of what we’ve learnt.
Ladies, we’ve seen that feminine softness is not abandoning our ambitions or allowing anyone to walk all over us. As you begin to embrace your femininity you will learn that you can be ambitious and receptive, kind while assertive.
Feminine softness is a beautiful gift that every woman ought to bask in. It’s our gift.
Are you ready to embrace feminine softness while being an absolute badass?
