Ever wondered why some women always seem to date the best guys and how others have managed to build happy and lasting relationships?
No they’re not lucky, more charming or beautiful than you, but they know how to use their feminine energy in dating and romantic relationships.
These women understand the power of polarity and duality, think of the sun and moon, light and dark, yin and yang, Feminine energy and masculine energy.
What it means to show up in your feminine energy while dating or in a committed relationship.
Honestly if you want to attract a healthy masculine man who’s obsessed with you(not in a freaky way) then you need to activate your feminine energy.
But what exactly is feminine and masculine energy? These are archetypal energy forces in both men and women that influence our interactions with the world.
For example, women tend to be more intuitive because feminine energy embodiment comes more naturally to us; men like to be in control because, again, masculine energy is their default.
But both genders need to learn how to balance their inner feminine and masculine energy. Check out this post.
I digress, when a woman shows up predominantly in her feminine energy while dating or in a relationship, then she attracts a man predominantly in his masculine energy and this only deepens their connection(polarity)
I guess that opposites in this sense attract.
Let’s take a quick look at how the feminine and masculine energies balance each other out.
| Feminine energy. | Masculine energy. |
| Receptive. | Giving. |
| Flow. | Control. |
| Nurturing. | Protective. |
| Being. | Doing. |
How to leverage your feminine energy in dating.
This dating advice is what I wish someone had told me when I got into my first serious relationship in my early twenties. This would have changed the trajectory of my life seriously. Quick backstory…
I’ve always been a romantic to my bones, and when I met my ex-boyfriend/baby daddy in my early twenties, I jumped all in, went with the flow, until I realized that maybe I had deluded myself into a fairy tale.
I quickly fell off from going with the flow to trying to control him, make him love me as much as I did, in turn, he also switched wagons and started to show up in his wounded masculine energy. I am talking about nonchalance and the birds falling from the sky.
Years later I realize I should have left earlier because the relationship wasn’t for me in the first place, I can’t spare all the details (long story)
In hindsight, I learnt a lot about what I want from a relationship and how I plan on showing up as a whole new dating season blooms.
Showing up in your feminine energy is what attracts a guy, but staying grounded in this energy will separate the king roosters from the rest of the pack.
But the real question is how do you activate that feminine energy in dating? Let me clarify, it’s not a performance, it’s a state of being, gently cultivated.
Ready? Here it goes.
1. Become Receptive.
There’s a difference between being nurturing and always being on the giving end. Feminine energy loves to receive.
Here’s the truth: men like to do things for the women who expect it. They’ll open doors for you if you wait, they’ll buy you gifts, pay for dates, text first only…
If you expect nothing less.
I know it’s hard with the wired ” miss independent, what a man can do a woman can.”
But no… Feminine energy isn’t competitive, so if you want to narrow the dating scene from jokers to men in their healthy, masculine form, receive.
For so long I have struggled with the idea of a man doing something good for me just because, but it’s something I am slowly learning.
You should too.
The next time you go on a date, don’t sit until that man pulls your chair, stand and smile sweetly till he does it😂.
If not, he’s not the one, definitely not the one.
2. Be self-assured.
You’ve activated your feminine energy, but what do you want from dating?
Are you looking for a husband, having fun, or my personal favorite, quoted from a 40+ divorced TikTok creator…
“I am dating to get to know myself more,” same here.
So here’s what I want to do: get clear, have a dating rule book, whether in your mind or written, stating what you expect while dating, what your boundaries are, etc.
Not only will you be in your feminine energy, but you will be supported by your self-assuredness and confidence.
Still of self-assuredness, be you, don’t sugarcoat a version of you, because eventually the mask will fall off, and if you’re lucky, you will attract healthy men who also show up authentically, and the rest will fall away.
3. Bring presence.
I am not the kind of girl who’s always like ” men love this and that” but for the context of this article, men love a woman who’s bewitched by the moment.
Presence is ultra magnetic, it casts a glow and thirst for life that men crave to offer more of.
4. Lean into your Sensuality.
Let me clarify we don’t do these things for men but for ourselves, they’re just a bonus
Sensuality means that you’re in touch with pleasure through your five senses(touch, feel, hear, taste, see).
A vital part of feminine energy is being able to tune in to beauty and pleasure something that the masculine struggles with.
This comes off as a zeal for life, and guess what that man will want a taste of that, so he will chase you, he will ask you out on dates just to get a whiff of that.
5. Allow playfulness.
Okay, Meridith, this is not World War. Cheer up a little, let that inner child come to play.
Be spontaneous, be giddy, your date will find that infectious, and they might also allow that little boy to come play, and guess what?
Now you’re having loads of fun.
Here are a few examples of how you can be playful:
- Crack a joke at the dining table.
- If the dates progress, suggest a fun date like bowling, a picnic, etc.
- Smiling (not fake) is also a good sign.
6. Don’t hide your emotions.
Women who have activated their feminine energy are deeply tuned to their emotions and they’re aware of how they feel at any particular time.
Emotions are not vulnerable; they actually show just how strong you are to feel and Express.
So don’t be afraid to show joy when a man does the right thing and disappointment when he does the opposite.
The pendulum swings both ways, which leads me to …
7. Lastly, be in tune with your intuition.
Intuition is like a muscle, the more you flex it, the more you learn to trust.
I’ve had some instances where I didn’t listen to my intuition and I paid for it in both small and big ways.
Whether you like to call it your sixth sense or your subconscious mind, cultivate it.
But how does your intuition speak to you? Sometimes it will be a soft voice at the back of your mind, other times it will be a grave feeling at the pit of your stomach or chest.
Learn to discern it from fear, or self-sabotage by actually taking the time to examine it, but if you don’t have time to act and dissect later, it could save your life in the extreme.
Intuition is a woman’s gift, and once you activate your feminine energy, you’ll love it; it’s like having an angel whispering in your ear at all times.
Using feminine energy in a relationship.
You’re no longer dating your now locked in a long- term commitmentl and let’s be honest the challenges sprout forth at this stage.
The euphoria is over, you know each other in and out, the masks are off, but you really love this man and want to sustain that special bond.
Here’s where your feminine energy comes in because if you fall from this wagon, so will your man. He’ll stop showing up in his healthy, masculine energy, and that polarity will be broken.
We don’t want that.
So what can we do not only for our relationship but also for us using your feminine essence?
1. Stay obsessed with yourself.
The first time I fell in love at 20 years I was so clueless on how to sustain a relationship, and everything else.
I became so obsessed with my partner that I forgot to be obsessed with myself, everything came second.
Now that I am older and wiser, I understand that a woman in a relationship should never give up on her interests and dreams.
Keep dating yourself, furthering your studies/career, and meeting your girls for brunch.
No, you don’t need to be with your man every waking hour, be obsessed with you, and so will he😉.
2. Hold your standards in high esteem.
Ahem, just because you’re locked in, babe, doesn’t mean that you make things easier for your man… actually doing that will only kill the spark.
Masculine energy likes to chase, in their minds that makes you even more precious and the relationship exciting.
So hold the standards you had in the dating phase, if you expect a date night each week communicate that to him.
Don’t let the stary eyes make you complacent.
3. Speak to him like a woman.
This will determine the trajectory of your relationship more than anything.
How you speak to your man matters; it shouldn’t be full of resentment or complaint. What they actually say about men not reading long, angry texts is true.
But how do you speak to him so he can actually listen and understand?
From your feminine energy.
For instance, your husband usually takes out the trash, but sometimes he forgets and prioritizes other things.
Instead of approaching him angrily and shouting “Jake, you’re so lazy, and it’s just so annoying when you forget to take the trash,” say this…
“Babe I love it when our home is so clean and fresh especially when you take out the trash, I love the home we’ve made together.”
Use your emotions and not a pointing finger let him know how you feel when he does abc ..
Works like a charm, appreciate him when he does what you want, he’ll do more on his own accord.
4. Lastly, be playful be spontaneous.
It’s easy to fall into a routine once you’re in a long-term relationship, and I get it, routines are comfortable and stable.
But to keep that flame ablaze be playful and spontaneous, let your light feminine energy rejuvenate your relationship.
My ex-partner and I would play a computer driving game, and I would almost always kick his ass, and he would be so enthralled that whenever he had an off day, he would practically drag me to play. It was fun and intimate, our little game.
Now this could look different and be several things, but remember not to be serious adults all the time, especially together.
Even a sexy lingerie every now and then works😉ifykyk.
Final thoughts.
Yay, this was a fun article to write because at the end of the day, I am a romantic at heart.
Ladies, I hope that the few steps I have given you have taught you how to activate your feminine energy in dating or in a committed relationship.
While dating, be playful, present, and self-assured. In a long-term relationship, be obsessed with yourself, and speak to your man in a feminine language, etc.
And here’s the catch, your feminine energy is not only something you activate in your romantic endeavors, it’s a way of life.
Till next time Fabolous b**
Before you dash, sign up for our newsletter to never miss good stuff, join other women in our Blooms community 😘
