As far as history dates, women have been taught how to suppress a vital part of ourselves, our feminine rage.
Women portraying their right to anger as a result of our oppression and suppression have been coined to be crass, unladylike, and hysterical.
However, I think that we’ve had enough. I certainly do hope so. Today, we shall explore how to create space for our anger as opposed to suppressing it inwardly and the dangers of bottling it in.
News flash f**k being palatable it’s time to embrace our dark feminine energy, rage as part of wholeness.
Table of Contents
What is feminine rage.
Feminine rage can be described in multiple ways by each woman. Collectively, we can say that it’s the expression of the anger that women feel towards the gender based injustices that we have been subjected to by society.
It’s the burning inferno that dares to explode in each woman who has undergone oppression, and if I dare say it’s pretty much every woman past and present on planet earth, indirectly or directly.
The root of it all: Generational and ancestral female rage.
Growing up in Africa, there’s plenty of clean air, but there’s also plenty of regressive patriarchy.
I am talking about young girls being objectified as early as their chest stops being flat, women receiving “generous beatings” from their so-called husbands, and mothers-in-law supporting it, teenage girls being mutilated, and so forth.
I was lucky enough not to come from a community where girls were mutilated, married off before legal age, or denied the opportunity for a good education, so was my mother.
However, I suffered my own share of oppression, like the prying eyes of men who, if given, would take my innocence from me, the insignificance of my opinions simply because “I was just a silly,young girl,” and so many other instances, which I will narrate along.
My mother and grandmother also faced oppressive circumstances, each being more horrid down our matrilineal line.
My heart has also grieved for the countless femicide cases in Kenya and the world at large. For my sister’s and mothers and grandmother’s who have been brutalized and told to remain quiet.
This is called the collective feminine rage; we don’t just carry our anger, we carry the anger of each woman who has been oppressed in both subtle and disheartening ways.
Anger can be passed down genetically. When young girls grow up seeing their mother’s silenced and depressed, they learn to suppress their anger, they carry that with them.
This is why we must stop trying to be “agreeable”by suppressing the rage we feel inside.
Anger is a key component of femininity.
Modern causes of feminine rage.
There are truly so many causes of feminine anger; sometimes, we’re not even aware of it until one action becomes the tipping point for everything we’ve had to endure.
While men are encouraged to suppress any emotion other than anger, and unfortunately, to an extent, to “embrace unhealthy anger,” patriarchy is too intimidated by a woman’s rage.
It also greatly pains me to witness the mainstream conceptualization of femininity trying to suppress our anger.
We’re only expected to show up as soft, cordial, sensual, sad but not angry
Anger is equally a birthright for women as it is for our male counterparts.
Just to explore a few collective causes of wrath in women in today’s society.
1. Unfair allocation of resources.
Gender biasness is something that our female ancestors regardless of your race fought for, and they crawled so we could walk.
Women fought for a space in this patriarchal society, a right to own land a right to work, a right to birth control.
But to this day, women are yet to get a fair allocation of resources, we’re referring to opportunities, salaries, and in third world countries, even the power of choice and a proper education.
2. Being patronized and gaslighted.
A man’s anger is totally acceptable it’s their second skin but do you know what they do with a woman’s rage?
They patronize us,they gaslight us into thinking we’re imagining the extent of our oppression.
Words such as “you should calm down”, “you’re being melodramatic,” are meant to confuse us into sweeping our rage under the rug.
The saddest part is that it’s not only men who try to placate women, but also women who have fallen victim to the narrative that women should either be happy, sad, or quiet.
Women who have gotten used to suppressing their anger feel just as uncomfortable when other women fight for their right to feel angry.
Such women are often bitter and depressed.
3. Being invisible.
In an African household especially in a get together where men are speaking about supposedly “important stuff” a woman is not expected to voice her opinions they are invalid.
Not that the topics are often life-changing.
This goes beyond cultures because we see women feeling unseen and unheard in multiple settings, be it their homes or workplaces.
Especially when a man is involved.
We’ve seen several cases of husbands making huge financial decisions without informing their wives, males taking credit for project ideas that a woman initially proposed, and so forth.
4. Motherhood without support.
My African mother was financially provided for but with two kids under two my father was never around, he was either at work or happy hour with “the boys.” Common thing in African households.
As a single mum, I understand that financial support is not all it takes to bring up a child, it takes emotional availability.
We now see movements that are propagated by being child free. Women are consciously choosing to skip motherhood because of the emotional and physical labor it takes, especially with a non-supportive father.
Although I enjoy being a mother to my baby boy, I couldn’t and certainly wouldn’t choose to add another child under in similar circumstances.
Every mother deserves unconditional support from the father of her child.
The burnout that comes with motherhood is very real; just because we’re nurturers doesn’t mean we’re inhuman, and for this reason, burning rage always manifests in unsupported motherhood.
As a single mum who separated from a barely unsupportive baby daddy I can’t help but loathe him sometimes, the anger is prevalent and justified.
5. Racial discrimination.
This is not the height of focus, but I cannot fail to mention that a woman’s anger is often ignored, and when the woman happens to be black and say not a white woman, her anger becomes violent, silly, and a cultural problem.
As black women we’ve already been painted as “always angry”and out of control,this means that when we express our fury we’re not taken seriously.
Racial discrimination of who gets to be angry and who gets to look more appropriate while doing it has led black women to suffer more of the lot.
6. Unpaid emotional labor.
I once had a male friend whom we had this great chemistry and banter, our conversations were mostly great until I started to notice that he would only seek my company when they needed to unburden his emotions.
This particular friend was using me as a therapist; they weren’t interested in my life, but my opinion and emotional labor in their affairs.
So many women play this role of stilling the disrupted emotions in other people, only to realize that they are drained.
Long story short, after sticking around for longer than I should have, I cut that friend off with no explanation.
7. Unrealistic beauty standards.
So many women are unhappy with their physical appearance just because a guy called Dave, who wears mismatched socks, said that he likes blond women with sizable body parts.
A woman not only took his opinion to heart but also tried to make other women who are comfortable in their own bodies and skin feel inferior.
So the guy is miserable, and so are the women who listen.
Beauty standards that have been imposed on women solely for the satisfaction of the male gaze change like seasons.
At one point, slim is the real deal, the next season is curvy in the right places, are we seriously going to listen to people who can’t even make up their minds?
Body dysmorphia, racism and colorism have angered many if not most women for centuries, We have been bullied and categorized like we’re supposed to fit into one box.
8. Online harassment and misogyny.
In an age of technology so women have created online communities where we can openly share our rage but alas every Tom and Dick not to mention Susan come hauling insults and threats.
At a time when freedom of expression is a neatly allocated right.
Must women feel threatened by horrid misogynists in real life and online in carefully curated spaces.
Can’t we even rage in the safe confines of the internet in peace?
Speaking of peace.
9. Lack of individual safety.
I have shared in the fury and pain of women who have been abused, in countless cases gone unresolved.
I am sickened to admit that I like so many other women don’t feel safe in my day to day life, I stay vigilant and remain on the look out not just for my sake but my fellow women.
How feminine anger manifests emotionally and physically.
Anger sits in a woman’s body when it’s not expelled. Anger is adrenaline, and it needs an outlet.
So what happens when a woman fails to dispel this emotion?
Blockage of your chakras and health issues.
The concept of chakras originated from India. Chakras, described as wheels, are energy centers in the body that span along the spinal column.
Chakras are believed to influence our physical health and vise versa, the chakras that get blocked when we suppress our rage are as follows:
1. Sacral Chakra (Womb/Pelvis):
Stores repressed emotion, especially rage tied to identity, trauma, or suppression of sensuality.
Rage may manifest as pelvic pain, reproductive issues, or creative blockages.
2. Solar Plexus Chakra (Upper Abdomen):
Deals with personal power and will.
Suppressed anger can lead to feelings of powerlessness, digestive issues, or lack of self-worth.
3. Throat Chakra (Throat/Neck):
Associated with speaking truth and setting boundaries.
Repressed rage often lives here when you’re afraid to “make waves” or fear judgment.
May show up as sore throats, thyroid imbalances, or loss of voice.
4. Heart Chakra (Chest):
If rage stems from betrayal, heartbreak, or abandonment, it can block compassion or create emotional walls.
Mental health problems.
Women who are oppressed and quiet can experience depression, suicidal thoughts, and unstable moods as a result of all the anger weighing on them.
Unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Women who can’t express their female rage often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as binge eating, drug addiction, sex addiction, retail therapy, e.t.c
Anything to numb reality and Internalized shame and guilt.
We have seen victims of rape being blamed for being easily oppressable “how insane” this victims are gaslighted into shame and guilt.
And if they allow their voices to be muffled, they internalize it instead of demanding justice.
Unspoken rage is a disservice to you.
Burnout and exhaustion.
Carrying repressed loathe is only heavy for you; to lighten the load, you must create an outlet, using the methods we shall discuss below.
A fractured matriarchy.
Women who are stuck with the “good girls don’t get angry” notion are often bitter and regressive.
Instead of joining other women in creating space for feminine rage, they are on the other side of the fence, creating a rift in the rise of a matriarchal society.
Identity loss.
A woman who cannot express her rage will often muffle her voice, truth, creativity, and overall identity for the sole purpose of fitting into a little pink box.
The divine feminine archetypes of sacred rage.
Here’s what they tried to bury from us: Sacred feminine rage has always been a core trait of femininity.
Divine feminine rage shows up in mythology, religion, mysticism, and literature through powerful archetypes who transmuted rage into power. Shows up in mythology, religion, mysticism, and literature through powerful feminine archetypes who alchemized rage into power.
These archetypes remind us of what was truly imprinted into our being.
1.Kali (Hindu Mythology).
Symbol of: Destruction for renewal, divine chaos, liberation.
Kali is the fierce mother goddess who destroys ego, illusion, and oppression.
She is often misunderstood as violent, but her rage is protective it clears space for rebirth.
She’s not “tamed,” yet she is deeply maternal and just.
2. Sekhmet (Egyptian Mythology)
Symbol of: Divine justice, righteous wrath, power with purpose
Sekhmet is the lioness-headed goddess of war and healing.
Her rage was so intense it almost destroyed humanity, until she was softened with red wine symbolizing the need to balance destruction and compassion.
She guards boundaries, punishes injustice, and heals the broken.
3. Medusa (Greek Mythology, Reclaimed).
Symbol of: The rage of the violated, protection through monstrosity
Originally a priestess turned into a monster after rape by Poseidon.
Her gaze turns men to stone not because she’s evil, but because she’s become untouchable.
Medusa symbolizes rage as armor power born of trauma.
4. Lilith (Jewish Mysticism / Feminist Revision).
Symbol of: Rebellion, self-sovereignty, sexual freedom
Cast out of Eden for refusing to submit to Adam, Lilith became a symbol of female defiance and wildness.
Demonized in tradition, but reclaimed in feminist theology as the original woman who said “no.”
Her rage is the scream of the silenced.
5. Lastly, Pele (Hawaiian Mythology).
Symbol of: Volcanic fire, creation and destruction
Goddess of volcanoes and fire both destroyer and life-giver.
Known for her fiery temper and transformative force.
Teaches that rage is both natural and sacred, tied to the earth itself.
These are just a few archetypes that constitute feminine rage as our birthright.
11 ways to embody your feminine rage.
Anger that sits festers until it leads us to self-distraction. There are several ways to deal with fury depending on it’s cause.
Before we list the techniques to dispel anger I would advise you listen to the wisdom of womb a.k.a your intuition every time you are faced with rage.
1. Make space for fury.
The first step towards embodying feminine rage is to accept that it’s present.
Do you feel freaking angry?
Acknowledge it curse if you must, clear and hold space for this emotion.
2. Use your voice.
An angry woman must not be timid of being heard.
Speak up, loud and clear.
You must let the perpetrator know that you’re not pleased by the stamping of your rights and boundaries.
Confine in someone you feel safe with be it a friend, relative or therapist.This is often a crucial step.
3. Take legal action.
Did they walk all over your rights? And seem totally oblivious to the harm they inflicted?
Sue them, put their lack of manners for the public to witness, so they will think twice about walking all over another woman next time.
If it’s punishable by law they ought to learn.
4. Scream and sing.
Using your voice can also look like letting out a very loud and neat scream, who cares if they think you’re crazy, screaming is therapy.
The upheaval of feminine rage songs makes angry singing the way to go.
We’re always singing heartbreak songs but imagine how much more angry songs would hit and example is “truth hurts” by Lizzo.
Spotify also has a dedicated playlist for feminine rage songs, check it out.
5. Become an activist.
In my country of residence, Kenya, women across the country rallied against the rising cases of femicide, this is one example of activism.
Activism doesn’t look one way, it’s simply joining a cause that you care deeply about and advocating for it.
6. Dance and shake the energy off.
Ladies, your body stores trauma in your womb, this looks like tight hips, painful periods.
Somatism, which is the study of the mind-body connection, encourages shaking as a form of healing.
Don’t be afraid to do instinctive dancing, shaking, stomping your feet, e.t.c
Movement in general will help you expel anger. You can also try running, boxing, punching your pillow, e.t.c
7. Write in rage.
Whenever you feel super angry it’s a perfect time to try and process those emotions through journaling.
It doesn’t need to be perfect; throw those incoherent words on the page.
8. Create “anger” Rituals.
You can honor your rage by creating rituals such as: burning the page you just journaled on to symbolize release, burning red candles, offering your rage to the earth through grounding practices such as stomping barefoot on the bare ground.
Think of a ritual that would help you process anger without causing you harm.
7. Use breathwork.
Breathwork is so amazing because it unblocks all this stuck and festering energy.
There are plenty of breathwork techniques, but just to mention a few, we have:
- Box breathing: picture a square box, inhale for four seconds, hold four, exhale four, hold, repeat.
- 4-7-8 breathing: Inhale four, hold seven, exhale eight seconds.
- Deep Abdominal breathing: place hand on belly and chest, inhale deeply letting air fill your abdomen, exhale, let your belly fall flat.
8. Invoke feminine rage archetypes.
Invoke your ancestors or the archetypes I mentioned above to help you reclaim and uphold the power of your fury.
9.Practice creative outlet.
Can you guess why all the babes glow after a breakup? This is because we channel our pain into ourselves.
The same can be true for anger if it’s alchemized and channelled into our businesses, hobbies, and self-care.
Use that provocation as fuel for becoming the best version of yourself.
10. Wear your rage.
Goth fashion was more than just bold makeup and dark colors; it was an act of rebellion.
I am not saying that we should all go goth, but your fashion can be a way of standing tall and unapologetic.
This can be seen as dressing solely for you, “dressing for the female gaze.”
11. Lastly Set firm boundaries.
Without firm boundaries, not only will others disrespect you, but you also won’t have the courage to stand up for yourself.
Set your boundaries firmly, write a list, and voice them to others.
Closing remarks.
Feminine rage is more than a mere emotion that a woman needs to numb or battle with over it’s legitimacy.
Birth your anger into something, let your rage be heard. Embody your anger through creating rituals such as journaling, just like every other aspect of your feminine energy, anger deserves it’s space.
Is there a time where someone tried to silence your rage? Will you allow it again? I thought so… Share your experience in the comments section below 👇
